Ice Palace

Hi there! This week, we are focusing on some adventure writing. If you don't know what that means, even though it's stating the obvious it a type of writing where the character goes on an adventure. Our teachers gave us the opening of the book Ice Palace and carry on the story. Can you give me some feedback on what to improve with these 2 paragraphs here? Thanks.

Turn your face into the east wind, and if you could see forever you would see Ivan’s land. It is a land where time seems to be frozen. A land where bere frosty trees stood still, waiting for the spring breeze that will never come. Blankets of snow cover the green grass like someone hiding their real identity eternally. It hides in the misty fog, like shadows hiding from the light. Overcast clouds linger above the trees like a curse.

Ivan was the first and only to step foot on this mysterious land. He almost disappeared like a memory of someone’s childhood. As if he joined with the shadows and the dark. No one knows what he looks like, only a few knew about his existence. Tales say that Ivan’s spirit watches over this land, causing the never-ending winter.